कौन गिरा था यहाँ पे

यह पंक्तियाँ एक उचित चेतावनी के उत्तर स्वरुप लिखी गयी थीं:
शायद इसी कि आवश्यकता थी हमें,
नहीं तो हम भी गिर गए होते,
गिरने का निशाँ हम पर न सही, 
पर रास्ते पर अवश्य होता,
जो आता वही सोचता,
जाने कौन गिरा था यहाँ पे।

Myself, My Food and the Monkey in Faculty Canteen

Well this happened yesterday in the afternoon i.e. on 24th Jan, 2014 afternoon.
Now, now as most of the people (in the department, in my home and now the people in my friend list will also) know that my day starts around 12-1 pm. So this too started as usual at 2 pm (yeah a bit late, but then you know you sleep late, you wake up late) in the afternoon. After waking up the first thing I do is switch on my laptop, to check my mail which incidentally today was very important for me as before sleeping I wrote a story (a horrible one...) and mailed it to someone who I think would have read many stories (a faculty in  our institute). So I was awaiting a reply and eagerly I switched on my laptop. I thought I have written a remarkable story. My first attempt, oh sorry second attempt (first one was much more horrible) would just create havoc in the institute. Holy crap!!! Nothing like that happened. As usual there were mails about lost things, events happening, elections to be held tomorrow in our hostel and so on. Forget about havoc, nothing even close to a leaf fluttering due to my story happened. 

Well moving on from this very saddening experience. I thought going to my lab. Now whenever I decide to go to my lab, which mind you happens rarely, I get confused; confused about what books to take there to study. I don't know out of what self-righteousness I do that. You know, people go to lab for studying, it seems  for me my lab is like an adventure place, a picnic place where I go to enjoy and talk about anything and everything starting about the politics going on in the department, in the institute, our badminton playing sessions to things like which biscuits, restaurants are good and so on. Lab is not for studying but everything else. So I got confused. What to do? Ah very simple, take anything not related to thesis. So took one magazine, a photocopy of two stories and a big register in which nothing has been written in the last may be 5-6 months. So yeah that's it.

I got out of the room and started for my lab. Now when I go to my lab on my old-fashioned "doodhwala" cycle I usually do either of the two things either think about any event which happened during the day and I didn't like or I think about my thesis, guide, career and so on. So this time, as the day had just begun, the latter happened. And by the time I reached my department, I understood "Man, my career is on a down turn and a horrible one." Well again moving on, after so many things happening, I reached my lab.

When I entered the lab, went straight to my desk, kept the books and said hello to people around. Now, when I say hello to people in my lab it is not just a simple hello, it like a big conversation/discussion session which involves the happenings in the lab, in the department, in the institute and so on. In the middle of the discussion I came to know people have not taken lunch. Oh, a chance to get out of the lab and yet remain in the academic area  which technically means you were studying and now taking a break but really it means the break has shifted to the eating place i.e. faculty canteen from the lab. So we went for the lunch.

Now our faculty canteen doesn't serve only human beings (here also there are categories, will explain sometime later). It serves non human beings also like monkeys, peacocks, a cat and sometimes a dog whenever the dog is able to enter the academic area.  We went to the counter ordered the usual things like a DCBM (short form for Dal Chawal Butter Mix, yeah I know it seems like a खिचड़ी...), a normal thali and some samosas. After ordering we found that some of our friends were already there. So we went and sat with them. Few conversations happened ranging from online shopping (it seems now we can even buy a plant online and I was shocked to hear it) to online marriage fixing and so on. By the time our friends left, the food had arrived and we had started eating  (obviously we the hungry human beings.).

Now the other non human being, the monkey, comes into picture. He (I don't know if the monkey was a male or a female, assuming a male) very calmly got down from the tree and started coming towards our table. We thought he will stop at some distance from us. But he didn't. Forget about stopping he climbed onto the table. Man, this guy had got guts. We all thought monkey was coming for the one samosa left on the table. That dude had got bigger dreams, he was looking for the ROTIS in my plate. And adding to my horror the two friends sitting besides me got up and came behind me. Shit man. These friends always leave me at the exact moment when I need them the most. Now it was me and the monkey face to face. Dude, the game was on. He tried to take the rotis from my plate. I pulled the plate towards me. Attack failed 1-0, dude.

Now before trying again, he came forward a little. There it was the second trial and he succeeded. Man, he had taken two rotis from my plate. Well I knew it was going to happen, I was no match for that guy. That guy lives on trees and must be doing too much of exercise and me on the other hand who just sits, eats, reads and sleeps. But one thing is clear, if by any chance that monkey is reading this story, I just want to say this: "Dude, what you did was personal and that too in a public place. I am going to report this thing to higher authorities."

Manu

(Don't know if to put this in the disclaimer or not. Any one who knows something about this do tell.)
Disclaimer: In this incident no animal was harmed. And there is nothing against animals in this post. It is just for the laugh of the general public.